God is faithful, why do we doubt?

Since I have been back from Liberia, my prayer is that we in some way could enable the church the be self-sufficient. I want to empower the Liberian people to be independent and grow in their culture instead of what relief organizations percieve their culture to be. I know this is a big prayer, but it starts small. Since I have been researching going back to Liberia, I have been discouraged by the price of housing. It costs $3000 a month to live in the safe compounds. I spoke with HollyAnn about both of these prayers. This morning she called me to tell me that she had talked to Pastor Wesley and they had found a solution. In front of the Pastors house there is a slab of concrete. He wants to build a guest house type thing on there. So what does this have to do with being self sufficient? It would have multiple rooms that he could rent out to parents who are adopting children or mission teams that come over, it would be a much smaller fee than the hotel down the street or the compounds for long term people. It will also keep missions teams from imposing on their rooms. It is such an amazing answer to prayer. As HollyAnn was explaining this to me, tears of joy went strolling down my face, regardless of if God wants me to go back or not, this is a great thing that could be done. For 6 months rent, I would be paying $18000, whereas to build this building it would only be $10000. I am praying that funds come together to make this possible, especially with the news that FBC Galt is withdrawing their support because Pastor Rob is leaving the church. Please continue to pray for this, and God's will for my life. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me!

The bliss of Technology!

I spoke with Megan this morning for a long time! It was so great to hear her voice. I am longing for the fellowship and prayer we had on the trip. The Lord has blessed me with time to spend with Him to pray for Michael and Megan and I am so greatful for that, but sometimes I just need/want more. Megan and I prayed for each other today and it was great. Two friends who know the power of Christ praying for each other, across the world, my morning, her night. I love technology. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I didn't even get to talk to Megan or Michael for the entire month they are in Sudan.
Dear Jesus,
I pray for the Sudan team right now. I pray that you are with them and comfort them Jesus. As they are about to start their Friday, please protect them. Be with them in the personal struggles they are facing right now Lord. Be with them as they are getting tired, and maybe a little bit sick. Be with them as they grow weary Lord. Once more I lift up their families. Comfort them and help them find peace in the work these amazing people are doing. Be with their friends who are back home who miss them. Help those around them to grow in you Christ as they fall on their knees to pray for Africa. I love you Jesus. Amen.
This is my 8th week of being sick, minus the week I was in Liberia. I started running fever on Christmas, and finally went to the dr. today. I have strep throat and a respiratory infection. Please keep me in your prayers and my body is trying to heal itself while dealing with different things emotionally.
"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you O God. My sould thirsts for God, the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, 'Where is your God?'" Psalms 42:1-3

Pastor Wesley.... and boys....

Well, I e-mailed Pastor Wesley today about me coming over there! his reply was very encouraging. He said he is excited about my arrival! I pray that the funds will come in. Matthew said he was going to help me look for a place to live and get me prices. The people there are so amazing and willing to help. I wish I could get on a plane right now and go back. My heart yearns for it! I watched the Sudan video this morning and it was so amazing. I still wish I were there! Please keep them in your prayers. Their blog site is: www.sudanskids.blogspot.com.
On another note, I went and saw The Holiday last night. It was an interesting movie. Cute love story, but it got me thinking about God's plan for our mates, and the pursuit. I think so many times, we as women get desperate for someone to make us feel special that we forget about the pursuit. We forget that we are the King's daughter, and we deserve to be treated like princesses. Not in the sense that a man should bow down to us, but in the persuit of a relationship. He should make the first move, and he should romance us. So many women these days, me included, aren't picky enough. We date guys who's eyes are not on Jesus alone, and in doing that we enter unhealthy relationships. The saddest part about that is that we get accostumed to being treated poorly, and no longer long for the man who will respect and love the Lord above us. A true head of the household. I read Wild at Heart and Captivating earlier this year. I think it is time for a reread. I am so excited about the Man God has molded for me. How great is our God? "Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

Christmas

Today is Christmas. I woke up thinking about Michael and Megan, and about their families who are celebrating without them. I immediatly prayed for them, for their families, for the orphans. I got all I asked for and so much more for Christmas. It was a great time with family. I am getting sicker I think. I have been sick for about 7 weeks already, and today i felt really bad. I think a lot of it is all the wind and stuff. I wasn't really myself this year for Christmas, I sat in a chair at my grandmothers house and didn't really talk to anyone. The Liberians are in my heart. I feel so blessed to have been raised in America and have been blessed with parents who can shower my sister and me with gifts, but sometimes I question why. I wonder what Christmas there looks like. Maybe more like CHRISTmas and less like X-mas. I think Christmas brings out greed in many people, including myself. For some reason lately I have been judging how much people love my by what they give me, which is completely backwards. I have never done that before. With graduation, I decided I was the least favorite neice because I didn't get anything from 2 of my aunts, and for Christmas my grandparents gave me less than the rest of the grandkids and I let that get to me, but in reality I know that is not true. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why is Christmas the time when we are supposed to be most giving, but we end up most greedy? It is something I have had to pray through today, and I hope that you all were able to see joy in the things that were given, not gotten because Christmas for me was not very fun with this attitude.

Brussels

We arrived at the hotel at 5am and decided to sleep until about 2 when we would eat a meal together and debrief. We went downstairs to the restraunt where there were a lot more tears shed and memories shared. It was a very special time for the team. After lunch we went downtown. It was so amazing. There was an amazing light show with a huge Christmas tree and a nativity scene. There was music and lots and lots of people. We shopped in the little stores, took more pictures, and explored Brussels. It is so amazing! Our first stop of course was the chocolate store! After we watched the light show for a bit we walked some more and found chocolate covered waffles. I only had a bite, but it was pretty amazing! Megan and I didn't eat the waffles so we went and got Kabobs with lamb meat. It was great! We walked around a bit more before going back to the hotel. The girls met in our room and we all prayed over Megan for the next leg of her journey to Sudan. Once more, there were a lot of tears shed. We prayed for a long time, then Karen and Diane went back in their room to pack. Megan, Trish and I had an amazing talk. We talked until about 3 am before sleeping for a couple of hours. We woke up Sunday morning, had breakfast together then walked over to the airport. We got all checked in, then the hard part came. We had to say goodbye to Megan, Michael, and Kelly. We cried, lots of hugs. We went through customs and the man asked if I was sad to leave because I looked like I had been crying. We stood in line for the security stuff. Karen, Randy, Ryan, and I were all talking, trying to talk about happy things. We got through security and boarded the plane to go back to the states. It was a nine hour flight, of which I slept a lot of. They were showing Talladega Nights and Elf, and I slept through the majority of both of the movies. My headphones broke in the seat as well so I couldn't watch the shows, so I journaled and slept. We got to Chicago and I was sick! Everything I had before the trip had come back. We hda some time to eat and shop in Chicago before our flight left. I made some phone calls and talked to friends and family. By the time we got on the flight from Chicago to Dallas we were ready to be home. I did not sleep on this flight at all, but it was a short one. We had just a bit of time in Dallas, the married women primped in the bathroom, to look nice for their spouses. I figured my parents didn't care what I looked like. I slept the entire flight from Dallas to Midland. When we got off the plane it seemed like it took forever for the whole team to get off the plane. We turned the corner and our families were upstairs waiting for us. My grandparents, and Brenda and Don were downstairs waiting for me as well. It was really great to see everyone.

Day 7

It is our last morning to wake up with ant bites all over our legs and face. It is so bittersweet. We spent the morning at the children's home. The three children were supposed to go to the dr. at 11:15, but we forgot their passports so they had to reschedule. Saying goodbye was heartwrenching. The three kids from Oklahoma were glued to my lap everytime I came out there. They thought I was taking them with me, and I wish so much that I was. Joseph, the oldest was the first to start crying. his tears, made me cry. When we were walking out, tears running down my face, I looked back to see Elizabeth and Mawoline in tears as well. I went back to give them one last hug and tell them they would be with their new mommy and daddy soon. Mawoline said "I thought you were taking me home with you." This made me cry harder and I just held them. Joseph was in his class outside and he was also still crying. I managed to make it outside before I completely broke down. Karen and I had a crying and huggingfest because we did not want to leave our kids. We went back to the pastor's house,where I got my hair redone before leaving for home. It didn't take us long to pack up, we left a lot of stuff for the Liberians. Saying goodbye to the women and children was so hard. The women were running from all over the neighborhood to see us off. Laura, Wesley's wife cried when we left along with the 3 oldest girls. We told them that they finally got their rooms back and they should be excited, Priscilla replied, "I would give it up if you all would stay." Talk about sacrificial love. These kids were sleeping on the floor, outside, anywhere they could find a place to sleep because we had taken over their rooms, yet they didn't want us to leave. Monica, my little friend would not let go of my hand. She got in the van with me and I had to get Ellen, her mother to pry her off of me. When we finally got away, everyone was very sad. We passed by where our monkey friend lived, and he was not outside, so Randy yelled, bye monkey. In response we see him go to the bathroom. It was his farewell to the white people who picked on him all week. Most of us slept on the trek to the airport, including Pastor Wesley. We got to the airport and it was crazy busy. We checked in, then went through the health line, then through customs, then they hand checked our bags. In the process of going through bags, they asked if we had an extra bible. I gave mine to them. I asked the man I gave it to if he was a believer and he said yes, the Lord is my personal Lord and savior. It was really cool to see that he believed without even a bible. I got the seat to myself to Dakar, then the plane was completely full. We arrived in Brussels at about 5am and went to the hotel to check in.

Day 6

This morning we got to sleep in a little bit more. Today was our down day. We went downtown to shop which was competely different than shopping in Uganda. It was like being in downtown Manhatten. There were people everywhere on the streets selling things. At one point we were waiting for some of the team members and a fight broke out above us. People started throwing firecrackers at them. It was a little scary because it sounded like gunshots. Everything was pretty Americanized. I didn't buy very much. When we were done shopping, Kelly and I went to the U.S. embassy to talk to John Marriot about adoptions. He was very helpful. He went step by step with us through the process. We also met with Barbara Britan who is a bit of a hero. She is running a nursing school in Monrovia, and during the war she housed refugees. We also went to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to see about getting passports for the babies. It is quite a process. Kelly was not allowed in because he did not meet the dress code, so me and the Pastor went in. We also drove by a huge military base located on the ocean and the president's mansion, it was a very interesting, educational afternoon. The rest of the team went to the ocean. It sounds like they had a great day too. This evening was the womans bible study. I don't think I can even verbalize how amazing it was. Tricia spoke words of encouragement into their lives. We prayed for situations individually. There were tears shed, laughs heard, and an amazing bond between everyone who was there. After the prayer, we all sang and danced together. By the end we were in a conga line all dancing a singing our hearts out. It was incredible. The bible study lasted about 2 hours. All the while, the boys were at the restraunt waiting for us. We met them and ate. After dinner we went home, it was already late and we were all tired, but we met together in prayer and thanksgiving singing praises to the Lord. It was the highlight of the trip. I cannot believe it is our last night here, it seems like we jsut arrived.