God is faithful, why do we doubt?

Since I have been back from Liberia, my prayer is that we in some way could enable the church the be self-sufficient. I want to empower the Liberian people to be independent and grow in their culture instead of what relief organizations percieve their culture to be. I know this is a big prayer, but it starts small. Since I have been researching going back to Liberia, I have been discouraged by the price of housing. It costs $3000 a month to live in the safe compounds. I spoke with HollyAnn about both of these prayers. This morning she called me to tell me that she had talked to Pastor Wesley and they had found a solution. In front of the Pastors house there is a slab of concrete. He wants to build a guest house type thing on there. So what does this have to do with being self sufficient? It would have multiple rooms that he could rent out to parents who are adopting children or mission teams that come over, it would be a much smaller fee than the hotel down the street or the compounds for long term people. It will also keep missions teams from imposing on their rooms. It is such an amazing answer to prayer. As HollyAnn was explaining this to me, tears of joy went strolling down my face, regardless of if God wants me to go back or not, this is a great thing that could be done. For 6 months rent, I would be paying $18000, whereas to build this building it would only be $10000. I am praying that funds come together to make this possible, especially with the news that FBC Galt is withdrawing their support because Pastor Rob is leaving the church. Please continue to pray for this, and God's will for my life. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me!

The bliss of Technology!

I spoke with Megan this morning for a long time! It was so great to hear her voice. I am longing for the fellowship and prayer we had on the trip. The Lord has blessed me with time to spend with Him to pray for Michael and Megan and I am so greatful for that, but sometimes I just need/want more. Megan and I prayed for each other today and it was great. Two friends who know the power of Christ praying for each other, across the world, my morning, her night. I love technology. I can't even imagine what it would be like if I didn't even get to talk to Megan or Michael for the entire month they are in Sudan.
Dear Jesus,
I pray for the Sudan team right now. I pray that you are with them and comfort them Jesus. As they are about to start their Friday, please protect them. Be with them in the personal struggles they are facing right now Lord. Be with them as they are getting tired, and maybe a little bit sick. Be with them as they grow weary Lord. Once more I lift up their families. Comfort them and help them find peace in the work these amazing people are doing. Be with their friends who are back home who miss them. Help those around them to grow in you Christ as they fall on their knees to pray for Africa. I love you Jesus. Amen.
This is my 8th week of being sick, minus the week I was in Liberia. I started running fever on Christmas, and finally went to the dr. today. I have strep throat and a respiratory infection. Please keep me in your prayers and my body is trying to heal itself while dealing with different things emotionally.
"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you O God. My sould thirsts for God, the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, 'Where is your God?'" Psalms 42:1-3

Pastor Wesley.... and boys....

Well, I e-mailed Pastor Wesley today about me coming over there! his reply was very encouraging. He said he is excited about my arrival! I pray that the funds will come in. Matthew said he was going to help me look for a place to live and get me prices. The people there are so amazing and willing to help. I wish I could get on a plane right now and go back. My heart yearns for it! I watched the Sudan video this morning and it was so amazing. I still wish I were there! Please keep them in your prayers. Their blog site is: www.sudanskids.blogspot.com.
On another note, I went and saw The Holiday last night. It was an interesting movie. Cute love story, but it got me thinking about God's plan for our mates, and the pursuit. I think so many times, we as women get desperate for someone to make us feel special that we forget about the pursuit. We forget that we are the King's daughter, and we deserve to be treated like princesses. Not in the sense that a man should bow down to us, but in the persuit of a relationship. He should make the first move, and he should romance us. So many women these days, me included, aren't picky enough. We date guys who's eyes are not on Jesus alone, and in doing that we enter unhealthy relationships. The saddest part about that is that we get accostumed to being treated poorly, and no longer long for the man who will respect and love the Lord above us. A true head of the household. I read Wild at Heart and Captivating earlier this year. I think it is time for a reread. I am so excited about the Man God has molded for me. How great is our God? "Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

Christmas

Today is Christmas. I woke up thinking about Michael and Megan, and about their families who are celebrating without them. I immediatly prayed for them, for their families, for the orphans. I got all I asked for and so much more for Christmas. It was a great time with family. I am getting sicker I think. I have been sick for about 7 weeks already, and today i felt really bad. I think a lot of it is all the wind and stuff. I wasn't really myself this year for Christmas, I sat in a chair at my grandmothers house and didn't really talk to anyone. The Liberians are in my heart. I feel so blessed to have been raised in America and have been blessed with parents who can shower my sister and me with gifts, but sometimes I question why. I wonder what Christmas there looks like. Maybe more like CHRISTmas and less like X-mas. I think Christmas brings out greed in many people, including myself. For some reason lately I have been judging how much people love my by what they give me, which is completely backwards. I have never done that before. With graduation, I decided I was the least favorite neice because I didn't get anything from 2 of my aunts, and for Christmas my grandparents gave me less than the rest of the grandkids and I let that get to me, but in reality I know that is not true. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why is Christmas the time when we are supposed to be most giving, but we end up most greedy? It is something I have had to pray through today, and I hope that you all were able to see joy in the things that were given, not gotten because Christmas for me was not very fun with this attitude.

Brussels

We arrived at the hotel at 5am and decided to sleep until about 2 when we would eat a meal together and debrief. We went downstairs to the restraunt where there were a lot more tears shed and memories shared. It was a very special time for the team. After lunch we went downtown. It was so amazing. There was an amazing light show with a huge Christmas tree and a nativity scene. There was music and lots and lots of people. We shopped in the little stores, took more pictures, and explored Brussels. It is so amazing! Our first stop of course was the chocolate store! After we watched the light show for a bit we walked some more and found chocolate covered waffles. I only had a bite, but it was pretty amazing! Megan and I didn't eat the waffles so we went and got Kabobs with lamb meat. It was great! We walked around a bit more before going back to the hotel. The girls met in our room and we all prayed over Megan for the next leg of her journey to Sudan. Once more, there were a lot of tears shed. We prayed for a long time, then Karen and Diane went back in their room to pack. Megan, Trish and I had an amazing talk. We talked until about 3 am before sleeping for a couple of hours. We woke up Sunday morning, had breakfast together then walked over to the airport. We got all checked in, then the hard part came. We had to say goodbye to Megan, Michael, and Kelly. We cried, lots of hugs. We went through customs and the man asked if I was sad to leave because I looked like I had been crying. We stood in line for the security stuff. Karen, Randy, Ryan, and I were all talking, trying to talk about happy things. We got through security and boarded the plane to go back to the states. It was a nine hour flight, of which I slept a lot of. They were showing Talladega Nights and Elf, and I slept through the majority of both of the movies. My headphones broke in the seat as well so I couldn't watch the shows, so I journaled and slept. We got to Chicago and I was sick! Everything I had before the trip had come back. We hda some time to eat and shop in Chicago before our flight left. I made some phone calls and talked to friends and family. By the time we got on the flight from Chicago to Dallas we were ready to be home. I did not sleep on this flight at all, but it was a short one. We had just a bit of time in Dallas, the married women primped in the bathroom, to look nice for their spouses. I figured my parents didn't care what I looked like. I slept the entire flight from Dallas to Midland. When we got off the plane it seemed like it took forever for the whole team to get off the plane. We turned the corner and our families were upstairs waiting for us. My grandparents, and Brenda and Don were downstairs waiting for me as well. It was really great to see everyone.

Day 7

It is our last morning to wake up with ant bites all over our legs and face. It is so bittersweet. We spent the morning at the children's home. The three children were supposed to go to the dr. at 11:15, but we forgot their passports so they had to reschedule. Saying goodbye was heartwrenching. The three kids from Oklahoma were glued to my lap everytime I came out there. They thought I was taking them with me, and I wish so much that I was. Joseph, the oldest was the first to start crying. his tears, made me cry. When we were walking out, tears running down my face, I looked back to see Elizabeth and Mawoline in tears as well. I went back to give them one last hug and tell them they would be with their new mommy and daddy soon. Mawoline said "I thought you were taking me home with you." This made me cry harder and I just held them. Joseph was in his class outside and he was also still crying. I managed to make it outside before I completely broke down. Karen and I had a crying and huggingfest because we did not want to leave our kids. We went back to the pastor's house,where I got my hair redone before leaving for home. It didn't take us long to pack up, we left a lot of stuff for the Liberians. Saying goodbye to the women and children was so hard. The women were running from all over the neighborhood to see us off. Laura, Wesley's wife cried when we left along with the 3 oldest girls. We told them that they finally got their rooms back and they should be excited, Priscilla replied, "I would give it up if you all would stay." Talk about sacrificial love. These kids were sleeping on the floor, outside, anywhere they could find a place to sleep because we had taken over their rooms, yet they didn't want us to leave. Monica, my little friend would not let go of my hand. She got in the van with me and I had to get Ellen, her mother to pry her off of me. When we finally got away, everyone was very sad. We passed by where our monkey friend lived, and he was not outside, so Randy yelled, bye monkey. In response we see him go to the bathroom. It was his farewell to the white people who picked on him all week. Most of us slept on the trek to the airport, including Pastor Wesley. We got to the airport and it was crazy busy. We checked in, then went through the health line, then through customs, then they hand checked our bags. In the process of going through bags, they asked if we had an extra bible. I gave mine to them. I asked the man I gave it to if he was a believer and he said yes, the Lord is my personal Lord and savior. It was really cool to see that he believed without even a bible. I got the seat to myself to Dakar, then the plane was completely full. We arrived in Brussels at about 5am and went to the hotel to check in.

Day 6

This morning we got to sleep in a little bit more. Today was our down day. We went downtown to shop which was competely different than shopping in Uganda. It was like being in downtown Manhatten. There were people everywhere on the streets selling things. At one point we were waiting for some of the team members and a fight broke out above us. People started throwing firecrackers at them. It was a little scary because it sounded like gunshots. Everything was pretty Americanized. I didn't buy very much. When we were done shopping, Kelly and I went to the U.S. embassy to talk to John Marriot about adoptions. He was very helpful. He went step by step with us through the process. We also met with Barbara Britan who is a bit of a hero. She is running a nursing school in Monrovia, and during the war she housed refugees. We also went to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to see about getting passports for the babies. It is quite a process. Kelly was not allowed in because he did not meet the dress code, so me and the Pastor went in. We also drove by a huge military base located on the ocean and the president's mansion, it was a very interesting, educational afternoon. The rest of the team went to the ocean. It sounds like they had a great day too. This evening was the womans bible study. I don't think I can even verbalize how amazing it was. Tricia spoke words of encouragement into their lives. We prayed for situations individually. There were tears shed, laughs heard, and an amazing bond between everyone who was there. After the prayer, we all sang and danced together. By the end we were in a conga line all dancing a singing our hearts out. It was incredible. The bible study lasted about 2 hours. All the while, the boys were at the restraunt waiting for us. We met them and ate. After dinner we went home, it was already late and we were all tired, but we met together in prayer and thanksgiving singing praises to the Lord. It was the highlight of the trip. I cannot believe it is our last night here, it seems like we jsut arrived.

Day 5

This morning we got up around the same time and went to breakfast. We began our day at the childrens home. They showed us how far it was to walk to get water from the well. It is about a quarter of a mile which doesn't seem like a lot until you are carrying back 8 gallons of water on your head. On our walk over there we saw crocidiles. A family was raising them as food. We went to the clinic this afternoon. The boys worked on putting in shelves at the medical clinic, while the girls did inventory of the medical supplies. I wrote down everything people were telling me. After we finished inventory, it was time for the midweek service. Pastor Wesley preached on sacrificial love. It was great. After the service we went to eat, then went back to the house to meet together as a team. We then went to bed.

Day 4

We woke up early this morning so that we could get the five children to the medical clinic. I went with Karen, Megan, Kelly, and Pastor Wesley. I have really built a bond with the three children going to Oklahoma. We waited for a bit at the hospital before they called each child in individually. They filled out their information and a list of blood tests. We then waited a little bit longer before they finally called the children in by twos. Joseph and Mawoline went first. Mawoline got his blood taken first. He was so scared. He was screaming and crying. In the middle of him getting his taken, Joseph walked in and immediatly began screaming and crying. It took a lot for us to get Joseph to give the dr. his arm. After the boys Elizabeth went in. She was much easier. She sat in my lap and I had her look at a poster that was hanging. She didn't even cry. Kelly took all three of them to get bananas and peanuts. That changed their mood a lot. The babies were next. Karen and Megan took them inside. Megan was such a champ. She had to get a urine and stool sample from the babies. She took off their diapers and grabbed stool from one, the wrung out the cloth diaper to get urine... All without gloves! We made an appointment for the three kids to go back and get their physical exams and results of their tests. The twins do not have passports yet, so they cannot get their exams until they have them. We waited a while longer before going back to the home. Tricia and Diane had a great day. They read Christmas stories to the children, went and got water for them, and bonded with the caretakers. We picked them up and went to get the boys. We sat at the church for a bit, then finally left to go to the beach. Water is so amazing to me. We were walking around where the tide was so that it got our feet wet. We could mess up the sand all we wanted, but everytime the water comes in it washes the sand free of those impurities. Isn't that what the father does for his children? Wipes away out impurities. It was a really great time for me to reflect and see the beauty of the Lord's earth, and as beautiful as that water is, he thinks we are better. Its a hard concept to grasp for me. After the beach, we went to dinner wet then hometo spend time with the neighborhood children. We met as a team and went to bed. The week has gone by so fast. I'm not ready to think about leaving.

Day 3

We woke up early this morning to go to the hotel for breakfast. After we ate, Michael, Ryan, Randy, and Tim walked to the clinic, while Megan, Karen, Diane, Tricia, Kelly, and I went to the children's home. Before we left the states, HollyAnn and I went shopping for things to take over to the home. We took those things today. We brought pack-n-plays for the babies to sleep in. Before we got there, they were sleeping on a mattress with the caretaker. I am so thankful that the babies are up off of the floor where the ants and spiders can't get them. It looks a lot better in there. With the help of our protectors, Morris and Matthew, we organized the clothes, bottles, medication, etc. After we finished the infant room, Kelly looked at the five kids that are being adopted. Blessing was running a fever, but Kelly didn't see anything wrong with her, so they gave her some children's tylonol and waited it out. We called EWOL hospital about getting the kids HIV tests done. We are going to take them over there tomorrow. That afternoon, we gave the children the hygeine packs the kids at Stonegate put together for them. Megan explained how to use each item that was in the bag. There was a wash cloth, soap, shampoo, bandaids, tooth paste, a toothbrush, and nail clippers. They were all so excited to get them. When we finished at the children's home, we went to the store to get supplies for the home. We then went back to the church to get the boys. Priscilla, Wesley's daughter, braided my hair while we waited for them to finish up their work. It was a great time to interact with the people. I feel like I really got to know both Matthew and Priscilla because we had that time together. We left the church and went to dinner. After dinner we went back to the house. We met for a little while before turning in to go to bed.

Day 2

We slept a little bit later than Saturday morning. We woke up and were all excited about going to church. The service was amazing. They sang many of the hymns we sing at First Pres, it was beautiful. Pastor Wesley taught both Sunday School and church. He used amazing analogies that really brought us all together. We were no longer seperated by our countries, we were one in Christ. After the service we took a lot of pictures with the people. I found a little friend, Monica. After the pictures, we piled in the car and went to lunch with the whole Wesley family. It was great, they were really excited to go! This afternoon might be one of the highlights of the trip. It was a day of relaxation.... sort of. The neighborhood children all came over to the house and we were able to play with them a lot. Monica was there and she stayed with me the whole day. Diane brought out the beaded bracelets. The kids absolutly loved it, and could also tell us what each bead meant which was really cool. Monica's mother asked several of us if we could take her children home with us. It was heartbreaking. I would give anything to do so. We played until well after dark, we met together as a team. monica fell asleep in my lap tonight while we were meeting. It was great. We took her home after the meeting. There was water tonight, so we got a shower... finally.

Day 1

We got up at 5:45 this morning to get ready for the day. It was our 3rd day without a shower. Our first night was very hot, but we were too tired and grateful for a bed to care. This morning we went to the hotel for breakfast, then we went to the medical clinic and church. When we got to the church there was a lot of dissapointment. There were people there expecting to work, and things that we were expected to pay for. Michael talked to Pastor Wesley and we agreed to do what we could while we were there but that it would be a process. We all prayed and sang and held hands together as a team to try and discern what to do. We knew that God has prepared us on our trip over to trust him completely and live day by day, nothing was organized anymore. We began working at the clinic by cleaning it up. We swept, washed windows, and got to know each other a little more. We finally went out to the children's home. It broke my heart to walk into that home. The needs were apparent everywhere. The first thing I did was took pictures of everything for HollyAnn. We met Karen's grandbabies, which was amazing! They are absolutly beautiful. We did not stay at the home for very long. We went back to the clinic to get the boys, then we went to eat at the hotel, then back to Pastor Wesley's house. We chatted for a while before going to bed. It was a very long day!

Prayer for Dec. 1

Jesus, I need you. I'm scared. My future depends on this trip, and that is a lot of pressure. I love you Lord, I want to do your will, but I'm scared. Help me trust you Jesus. Help me to hear your voice Jesus. Give me discernment with this decision. Help me to be strong Jesus, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I don't know why I am here. I don't know why everything ended up this way, but I have to trust you. I can't do it without you. I pray that you protect us and comfort us. I don't know what your plans for me are, but I know they are great. I know this is where I am supposed to be, so please Lord, take this doubt away. Give me confidence and words to speak to these people Lord. Please help me to know you are all I need Lord. That my selfishness can be put aside and I can be completly satisfied in you Jesus.

Traveling to Liberia

Wow... was today a day or what? When I awoke, it was snowing outside. Cool. The team arrived at the airport two hours early, everyone's family and friends were there to see them off. We prayed together and said our goodbyes. We were sitting upstairs waiting for our delayed flight when someone asked when our next flight left, i replied 12:10, while other people said no, it leaves at 1:30. Tim and I go downstairs to see what is going on, the lady told us that the flight the rest of the team was on is completely booked, so I had to make the early flight I was on. As it got later and later, and we still had not left Midland I began to freak out. The team could see I was in distress and we all prayed together. We finally boarded the plane and took off. While we were in the air, I kept nervously looking at Michael who was completely relaxed about the whole thing. The flight attendant read off the gates for connecting flights. As soon as we landed I ran off the plane and to my next gate... in a different terminal. I got to my gate only to find out the plane had already left. At this point the tears are flowing. The man at the desk was trying to help me, but I was crying too hard for him to do much good. He finally got my boarding pass and I got enough of the story out for him to help me. He got me on the same flight as the rest of the team, and called that gate to let them know I was coming because they were about to shut the gate. I was running to the next gate to get on that plane and Michael was running towards me. We were both excited I was on their flight. We got on the HUGE plane and everyone from the team was really happy to see me. I think I got the last seat on the entire plane. I fell asleep shortly after getting on the plane, and when I woke up 2 hours later we were still on the ground in Dallas. By this time, it was about time for our plane from chicago to Brussels to leave. I was worried about Dr. Kelly making the flight and us not. When we landed in Chicago, Michael ran to the next gate, also in a different terminal. The screen on the plane said that it was leaving as we were landing. We were all a bit discouraged, because by this time our plane should have left 2 hours ago. We were walking fast, Randy was talking to Emily who found out that if we missed this flight we would not be able to get into Liberia for 3 days. As we were walking, Michael called to tell us that they were holding the plane for us. We started walking faster. When we got on the plane, there were a lot of unhappy people. They had been holding it for us for about an hour. We flew all night and got to Brussels at 5:20am. We were exhausted. We also had our first layover. We got a chance to eat for the first time since we left the day before. It was great. We also got some time to chat with Dr. Kelly and learn more about him. We finally boarded the plane to Monrovia. It was empty. I got a seat to myself and was able to sleep. Michael got the 4 seats in the middle and he was out before we even took off. the lady behind me threw up before we took off, I struggled not to throw up myself. We stopped in Dakar before going to Liberia. I was sure that our luggage, especially mine was not going to get to Liberia. We got off the plane and went through customs, then walked into "baggage claim" and all of our bags were sitting there. It was a miracle. Pastor Wesley was there to meet us. We got stopped going through customs, but after talking to Pastor, they let us through. When we walked outside, the sweat began and it did not stop until we were on our return flight. We were bombarded with people when we walked out of the airport. There was security telling people to get away from us and telling us not to let anyone touch our things. 15 of us were crammed into a van for an hour back to the Pastor's house. We were greeted very warmly when we arrived by the neighborhood and by his family. We met for a bit and went to bed. It was so good to be there finally.