How do we fall off the path?

I just went through and read my blog from my travels in Africa and the journey I went through last year... It's been so long since I have written anything. Reading this has made me wonder where my faith has gone... I am so far from the woman I was at that time and I got to thinking... How does that happen? How can we fall so far off the path that we don't even recognize the person we were before the change happened? I miss that person... I want to be that person again. How do I get back? I feel like I really need a mentor in my life, someone that can hold me accountable and teach me more about the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Right now I feel so far from it... I used to have Linda, but she moved... We still talk, but it's a lot easier to not tell the complete truth about things over the phone than while she is staring me down. I want peace, I want to be able to sleep, I want the joy I once had. The joy of Christ, where even though things sucked, I had hope... I have become hopeless the past few months. After the back surgery, and still being in pain... After falling in love and getting my heart crushed... I let my guard down, and Satan used it... to lie to me, to tell me he loved me too, to tell me everything was going to be ok when I knew in my heart it wasn't. I want Jesus back in my life, but I feel like I have wandered too far this time. I know that is silly and stupid... I know it's not true... but how do I get back? I doubt anyone still reads this since it has been so long since I have written anything, I just needed to get a few things off my chest... I need some guidance, I need some love... I need someone to tell me it will all be ok.